I occasionally read cheesy articles that give you tips on survival in the various elements of life - sometimes I find one or two points that make sense, or that I agree with, but this morning I somehow ended up reading the below article via some link or another, and I really agree with all of the points.
I guess it really is logic.
We live in a time where relationships are have become dispensable. People are no longer as committed as they once were. We are too focused on instant gratification, and are not willing to forgo any form of short-term discomfort, in order to reap long-term rewards. It is quite sad actually.
Despite the statistics, and the obvious evidence, I choose to remain hopeful. I believe that long term relationships and love are possible... Not to say it is always easy. I think that one needs to work at the different aspects of any relationship, whether it be romantic or platonic.
12 Commandments Of Happy, Long-Lasting Relationships
By Charles J. Orlando
When it comes to creating successful relationships, you need certain critical traits in place. Traits not just merely "present," but existing in a real and genuine way that emanates from each partner through their own want (not because someone is complaining). The moment "give and take" becomes forced, resentment and disconnection surface and your relationship suffers.
To create a successful relationship that truly lasts, here's what every couple needs:
1. Acceptance. Too many people talk about tolerance, but great couples don't "tolerate" each other's quirks and differences -- they accept them. They celebrate their similarities AND their unique differences. They recognize that if you can find someone who addresses 60 percent of your wants and needs, you're truly lucky/blessed. Acceptance makes you and your partner both feel safe to share your true selves. You don't fear judgment, because you aren't being judged.
2. Honesty and trust. Being honest is mostly an individual decision, based on self-worth, self-confidence, and knowing you/your actions are accepted -- even with flaws and mistakes. Trust follows when each person has undeniable faith that they can believe the other person -unequivocally.
3. Respect. Many people confuse attention with respect. Attention is great, and it shows love, desire, connection, and passion. Respect is a deeper level of connection, where you value the person at an innate level, without the promise of reciprocation.
4. Loyalty. In today's temporary relationship-driven society, loyalty has largely turned situational -meaning that many people have only become as loyal as their current wants, needs, desires and opportunities. With acceptance, honesty, trust and respect in place, loyalty is largely automatic. If your partner feels attracted to someone else, experiences a level of disconnection, or has a change of heart -- it is discussed -- openly and honestly.
5. Staying present. Technology is ever-present in our world -- and it transfers to our relationships. Mobile devices, social media, and technology overall makes it easy to mentally check out from where you are and who you're with physically. Successful couples recognize that technology is a tool for their individual and joint use, but it doesn't disconnect them from their relationship.
6. Affection and passion. Everyone wants to feel loved, and sustaining physical connection is a big part of that. Whether together two months or 20 years, the little things like holding hands, shoulder touches, and sitting together make a very big difference. A healthy sex life is the extension of that affection, helping you and your partner maintain a connection level that is simultaneously physical, mental, and emotional.
7. Humor. Laughter makes everyone smile, feels great, and works like magic to build, maintain, or restore balance (and attraction) in your relationship. Whether it's simply telling a joke, playfully teasing your partner, or enjoying a ridiculous conversation, humor builds a happy connection that transcends any individual or joint stress and keeps you enjoying each other's company.
8. Effective disagreements. Arguments in a relationship are normal. It's how you handle them and repair communication that makes your relationship last. Talking through issues with active listening (meaning: not just waiting to explain your own views, but rather, really listening to their side/experience and then offering empathy - regardless if you agree or not), being patient, and not judging allows both of you to maintain your opinion/views on the matter and still connect with one another. People in long-term relationships often have a choice: Being happy or being right. Hint:Happy is better!
9. Privacy. Today, there is an epidemic of over-sharing, and in relationships, this is often a death sentence. Bottom line: What happens in your relationship isn't for public consumption. It's none of anyone's business. Keeping things between you and your partner and excluding others from your inner-workings - to include kids, parents, friends, and strangers - is of paramount importance.
10. Maintaining your individuality. A successful relationship is made up of two individuals. Your partner still has interest in things they like, whether you're interested in them or not. Having your own lives outside the relationship not only contributes to each of you maintaining a sense of self-worth and self-esteem, but also gives you things, accomplishments, and interests to bring back to your relationship and share with your partner.
11. Support and sharing. Paying attention to your partner's activities - as well as sharing your own - keeps couples connected on a day-to-day basis. Lending opinion and insight, or just a compassionate ear when things get tough makes all the difference. When you care about and respect your partner, you want to know what they're doing and how you can help them achieve their goals - even if that means you see them less. Being invested in their lives is what contributes to you both people feeling valued.
12. Consideration and gratitude. The moment you're no longer grateful for your partner is the moment you start disconnecting, becoming complacent, and/or building resentment. Show consideration to and appreciation for your partner - just for being who they are. They, in turn, will feel grateful as well, and that's a great cycle to be in.
In reviewing these 12 tenets of great and lasting love, one thing becomes crystal clear: It's the little things that count most.
Trips and gifts are great, but it's the everyday behaviors that count more. Additionally, couples need to realize that a family is not the same as a marriage. Families need time to grow and stay connected, and a marriage is no different - but the marriage is between the couple, not everyone in the family.
A couple that takes time to do the things that made them fall in love in the first place will find themselves connected and happy long after the newness of the relationship has passed. A couple that thinks marriage is automatic and takes things for granted will likely find themselves in divorce court.
Over Christmas last year, Josh and I bought a giant jar of
the most massive marshmallows for roasting… These things were ridiculous, and
took almost as long to roast a good old fashioned turkey.
Almost a year later, I had the idea of using the jar as a
terrarium. So I have done a little research, and found the below to be the most
helpful instructions on how to go about it.
(Adapted from this wikiHow article)
What you will need:
A clear container
Light potting soil
Activated charcoal pieces
How to Make Your Terrarium:
1. Decide which plants to use. Any low maintenance plant can be used to make a terrarium. Choose plants that will grow well together. Choose plants that won't outgrow the terrarium container. Plants that prefer shade are best. Plants inside a terrarium have to be tolerant of low levels of light.
Humidity levels in terrariums rise quickly, so choose plants, like those from rain forests or woodlands, that grow well in such an environment.
2. Choose a container. You will need a glass or plastic container that is deep enough for your plants' roots.
3. Decide where to keep the terrarium. Terrariums are ultra low maintenance, but in order to remain so they must be placed in an ideal location.
Light: All plants need light, and plants in terrariums are no exception. However, since glass magnifies, avoid direct sunlight. Instead, choose a location where your plant will receive plenty of indirect light.
Temperature: Terrariums should be kept inside, in a warm room. Avoid extreme temperatures or sudden changes in temperature.
4. Purchasing supplies. To make a terrarium, you will need:
Potting soil. Choose light soil with lots of drainage, and preferably sphagnum/peat moss included. To check drainage, lightly wet soil and hold it in your fist: when you open your hand, heavy soil will clump, whereas light soil will fall apart.
Pebbles or gravel. Both provide drainage when placed at the bottom of the terrarium, and a neat appearance when placed at the top of a terrarium. Choose stones 1/4 of an inch or smaller for drainage, but choose whatever you'd like for topdressing.
Activated charcoal. Unless the container the plant will be in has a drainage hole, use activated charcoal pieces, which you can purchase from aquarium supply stores or garden centers. This keeps soil fresh.
Sheet moss. Sheet moss is useful when lining the bottom of the terrarium. It provides a "sponge" for absorbing excess water.
Decoration. Pick any decoration you'd like to add to your terrarium, as long as it won't be damaged by exposure to water. Examples include miniature garden gnomes, shells, rocks, small statues or aquarium décor.
5. Clean the glass container. If the container was previously used, wash it thoroughly with soapy water and rinse it well to remove all soapy residue. A dirty terrarium grows bacteria over time, so use an anti-bacterial soap if you can.
6. Add rocks for drainage. Mix the gravel/pebbles with a generous handful of charcoal. Put a layer about an inch high of this mixture inside the terrarium container.
7. Add a layer of moss. Moss will prevent soil from filtering down into the gravel.
8. Add the soil. Depending on the size of the terrarium and the length of the plants' roots, you should be adding about two or three inches of soil. Gently pack it down to remove air pockets and level the surface. Dig small holes into the soil where you will put the plants.
9. Add the plants. Remove a plant from its container and tease the roots gently apart to remove excess soil. Nestle it carefully into a hole you made previously and add more soil around it, patting it down gently. Repeat with the rest of the plants.
10. Add the decoration. You can also add moss or pebbles to neaten the top of the terrarium.
11. Give your plants a bit of moisture. Lightly water your terrarium and you're done!
If your terrarium is open, water the plants occasionally. This won't be necessary for airtight terrariums, but plants in open terrariums will need to be watered once a week. Succulents and cacti only need to be watered once a month.
Keep your plants healthy. If you see weeds, mold, or sick plants, remove the affected area immediately. Also, remove wilting parts of the plant, such as old flowers.
Let some fresh air in. If your terrarium is airtight, air it out. Though this usually isn't necessary, if your plants are wilting or there's condensation on the sides of the terrarium, air it out.